merge various SF fixes from gingerbread to honeycomb-mr2 (DO NOT MERGE)

  Fix a race that could cause GL commands to be executed from the wrong thread.
  RefBase subclasses can now decide how they want to be destroyed.
  Fix a race in SurfaceFlinger that could cause layers to be leaked forever.
  Fix a race-condtion in SurfaceFlinger that could lead to a crash.

initial cherry-pick:
resolved conflicts for merge of b9783b49 to honeycomb-plus-aosp

Change-Id: I2a335e03fff219e35c18a7b0089b3a11d636576f